Revenge is sweet
by Notsogoodwithwords
Summary: Summary: Lavi caught Allen kissing Lenalee. Allen caught Lavi kissing Kanda. Revenge can be a wondrous thing. Oneshot.


**Revenge is Sweet**

 **Summary: Lavi caught Allen kissing Lenalee. Allen caught Lavi kissing Kanda. Revenge can be a wondrous thing. Oneshot.**

 **Disclaimer: D. Gray Man is owned by Katsura Hoshino. Not me.**

* * *

They had run into each other at the train station. It wasn't uncommon – they were both always coming and going on various missions. It was pleasant to see each other. "Allen!" Lenalee cried, flinging her arms around Allen, who had just stepped off the train. Allen staggered back slightly, before wrapping his arms Lenalee's waist. He winced a little bit at her hug. "Are you alright?" She asked, unable to help but worry.

Allen smiled, "Yes," he said. He was bruised, and one of his ribs felt broken. But there was no blood, and if he was careful Lenalee would never need to know about the rib – which would worry her. He spotted her suitcase and immediately his smile slipped a notch. "Ah, are you leaving?" He asked quietly, a slight pang going through his chest.

Lenalee followed his glance. "Yes, I'm headed for Germany," She said smiling. "I shouldn't be gone for more than a few days. Allen's smile faded a bit more. "Hey don't look like that, Allen. I'll be fine," She said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I know," Allen took a deep breath, "It's just that..." He tried to form the correct words, to explain how he felt about her leaving. He didn't want her to be in danger. He didn't want her to go without him. He worried about her. He wanted to protect her and to save her.

"Allen!" Lenalee said sharply and the albino man dropped his gaze. Her voice softened a little bit, "We've talked about this. You can't take on all the responsibility in the world by yourself. You have to trust in me," she said. Allen nodded, though he didn't look all that thrilled about it. She smiled at Allen, "Don't be selfish Allen. You need to trust in me," Again he nodded, still not looking happy. He did trust in her, but that didn't change how he felt.

Lenalee sighed in exasperation.

"Just...be safe?" Allen said, trying to sound upbeat and happy. He knew Lenalee would be angry if he said that he didn't want her to go, and she'd yell more about him being selfish. He looked up from the ground and saw Lenalee smiling just a bit.

"I will be," she promised. She leaned forward a half second before Allen did. It was a brief kiss, something to say goodbye. "And you," she said a bit more firmly. "You make sure you go to the infirmary. And don't lie to me again, Allen!" She warned. "I can see you flinching! You tried to do too much by yourself again and broke something, didn't you?" Allen tried to look apologetic and failed. When Lenalee gave him a look that indicated he was going to get chewed out, he wrapped his arms arms around her waist and kissed her again briefly. They didn't have enough time together to spend it arguing. "Mnn...be more careful, Allen," She said, pulling away. She glanced back at the train. "I have to go," she said regretfully. "I'll miss the train," Allen let go of her reluctantly.

"Be safe," he repeated.

For a moment, the two just stared at each other.

It was always pleasant to see each other at the station; but it was always sad too. Allen watched quietly as Lenalee boarded the train. His shoulders sagged when she could no longer see him. "Ah man," he shook his head. Somehow those two words managed to sum up the entirety of how he was feeling.

He was feeling sorry for himself when he felt a heavy arm draped itself around his shoulder. "So, you and Lenalee huh?" Lavi grinned down at an extremely alarmed Allen. The boy was stammering something about how it wasn't what it looked like when Lavi started laughing. "Komui is gonna flip!"

"What? NO!"

* * *

The next few days were thoroughly unpleasant. At least, it was unpleasant for Allen. Lavi was thoroughly enjoying himself and the misery he was causing the younger man.

In short, Lavi had made Allen Walker's life a living hell.

He kept dropping hints to Komui about Allen and Lenalee, though the scientist – luckily for Allen – didn't pick up on the hints. He made comparisons between Allen and his master. He teased Allen about how long he and Lenalee had been dating. He outright harassed Allen with questions about how far the two of them had gone.

Allen was a wreck.

It did not go unnoticed. "Allen, is something wrong?" Komui asked, having called the young man into his office. It had been Lavi, who had suggested that Allen had seemed a bit stressed. _Maybe he needs somebody to talk to?_ The redhead had suggested.

"Yeah, Allen, is something bothering you?" Lavi asked sweetly, from behind Komui. Allen did not like that twinkle in Lavi's eye. It just screamed trouble.

Komui for his part, had no idea why Lavi was in the room. Sure, Lavi might have been concerned for Allen, but that just didn't explain everything. He'd been hanging around Komui a lot lately. There wasn't a mission for the redhead to go on. He didn't seem to be interested in any of the science divisions projects. The science department hadn't harmed the redhead with any of their projects. He seemed not to be doing anything besides helping Komui avoid work. Which Komui certainly wasn't going to stop. After all, work was frustrating, and he was frustrated enough without Lenalee around.

Though he was still understandably concerned about Allen. The young man had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't been sleeping well, and his normally smiling face had a rather dark look to it. Like he was contemplating suicide.

Of course, currently Allen's thoughts were running more along the lines of homicide, but he wasn't going to admit that. He forced a smile onto his face that wasn't really that convincing. "I'm fine," he said cheerfully, ignoring the look of joy on Lavi's face. _I'll kill him,_ he promised himself. "I'm just a bit sore from my last mission is all. I'll be fine in a few days," he said, lying through his teeth. _I'll kill Lavi for this._

"Now, Allen," Lavi said smiling, "If something's bothering you, you should tell us," he said. "I mean, we are _family._ " He hummed.

Allen felt a little stab in his chest of panic in his chest – this was worse than the broken rib. "No, no, I'm okay!" he insisted. "I mean, there's nothing wrong," except that he was being blackmailed by a maniac. Though, come to think of it, Allen wasn't sure if he could call it blackmail. Lavi hadn't asked him for anything after all. He seemed content to make Allen suffer.

Komui blinked at Allen's insistence that he was alright. Maybe Kanda and Allen had gotten into a fight again? Lavi continued on, cheerful in spite the obvious latent hostility rolling off of Allen, and the aura of confusion around Komui. "Is it that you don't want talk to us? Maybe you need to talk to somebody else? How about Lenalee!" Lavi crowed. "She's good to talk to right? Just like a big sister!" Lavi patted Allen's head, ignoring the withering look on the younger man's face.

 _I'll kill him._ Allen bit back a feeling that was a bit hard to describe; something in between rage and disgust, "Big sister...?" He said vaguely. Lenalee was most definitely _not his sister of any sort._

"Yeah! I mean...that is what Lenalee is to you, right?" Lavi hummed happily, watching as a muscle in Allen's jaw twitched.

Allen wanted to deny it. He wanted to say that Lenalee was not like a big sister to him. She was so much more to him than that. And what was more, he would _not_ kiss Lenalee like he did if she was his sister. But Komui would fly off the handle if he knew that Allen had any sort of feeling for Lenalee that was romantic in nature; forget the fact that he was dating Lenalee.

So he plastered on his fake smile. "Of course. Lenalee is like a big sister to me. Maybe I'll talk to her when she gets back," he said. _I'll kill him._

Komui looked a bit troubled as Allen and Lavi stared at each other, feeling that something was off. Though he didn't know what. "Well...It looks like Lenalee will be gone for a few more days...are you sure you don't want to talk to us about anything?" Komui asked.

"I'm sure," Allen continued to smile at the redhead, vowing vengeance.

And Allen Walker's vengeance was rivaled only by General Cross's and God's.

* * *

Lavi, as it happened, was hiding something. Which normally would not have been a problem, had it only been Lavi's secret. Unfortunately, there was a second person involved, and a rather grouch person at that.

The two of them had been together for almost two years. Long enough for Lavi to learn some things; for example; he enjoyed kissing Yu Kanda.

Lavi enjoyed kissing Kanda _a lot_. He didn't really care where; on missions, while Kanda trained, while he meditated, when he was trying to sleep on the train; anywhere was great. Of course, he had to do it where nobody could see. Because Kanda would kill him, if Lavi kissed him in front of others. If Lavi had to guess, he would have said it was because Kanda was embarrassed with public displays of affection. Which would have been fine – and possibly heartwarming – had it been somebody other than Kanda. When Kanda was embarrassed, he tended to fly into a homicidal rage. Embarrassment was not something the grumpy Exorcist dealt well with. It ranked just under Allen Walker, on the list of things that Kanda didn't deal well with.

Of course, it was also a possible that Kanda just didn't want to acknowledge his relationship with Lavi. But that thought always sent a stab of pain through the redhead's chest, so he ignored the second possibility in favor of simply enjoying what Kanda did allow. Which was kissing, so long as nobody was around.

The _when_ wasn't something that Lavi particularly cared about either. He kissed Kanda when he could; which truthfully, wasn't as often as he would have liked. They always seemed to just miss each other. Kanda away on a mission when Lavi was back, or Lavi was away when Kanda got back. Kanda _wouldn't_ let Lavi kiss him during their missions together. At least, not until they had the innocence safely in their possession, and all the Akuma were dead. He supposed that wasn't a big surprise; Kanda had always been serious about missions. The result was, when they were safe at the Order together, they kissed; a lot. Whether or not Kanda was in the mood.

"Get off of me, you-" Kanda snarled, trying to dodge a kiss, and failing miserably as the redhead caught him in a rather rough kiss. "Mmmnfnf!" The black haired man made an undignified sound in the back of his throat. What he had wanted to tell Lavi died in his throat. He tripped as he backpedaled, still trying to push Lavi off and fell onto his back with a loud _thud._ Lavi came down with him, landing on top of his target, mouth still pressed forcefully against the samurai's mouth. He would have strangled Lavi if he could. Unfortunately for him, the eye patch wearing bastard had the exceptional power to kill Kanda's will with his kissing. _Bastard._ Still he resisted, though not for long. Never for very long.

Lavi made a happy sound in the back of his throat as Kanda returned the kiss; though the bookman had to wince a bit when the samurai tugged at a fistful of red hair. He broke away, "Careful!" he whined.

"Shut up," Kanda had no sympathy. He sure as hell hadn't started it.

"Come on, you don't want me to go bald, do you?" Lavi asked, green-eye sparkling mischievously.

Kanda made an indignant sound. No doubt he was recalling all the times Lavi had tugged at, pulled at, or braided his own hair. No, he definitely didn't have any sort of sympathy for hair pulling. He glared at Lavi, daring him to say it again. Lavi had the grace to look sheepish. "It's different," he tried to defend himself. "You're hair is..."

"I'll kill you if you finish that sentence!" Kanda snapped, seeing no good way for that sentence to end. What was his hair? Pretty? Soft? _Like a woman's_? No, he had no interest in hearing the end of the sentence.

Lavi shifted back so he was sitting on Kanda's stomach. "Fine, fine, Yu. Don't be so sensitive!" he teased.

Kanda shoved at the redhead, trying to sit up again. "Do _not_ call me that!" He roared. Lavi ignored the yelling and pressed his lips back to Kanda's and pushed the angry Exorcist back down onto his back. It took a bit longer than usual, but after a few moments, but Kanda's anger faded, and they were kissing again. It was just as well. Lavi liked kissing Kanda.

Even if he had to keep it a secret.

Neither of them noticed the young man, with a head of white hair standing in the doorway with a devil's smile on lips. They certainly didn't notice the golden golem recording their kissing. But Allen Walker definitely noticed them. He'd noticed them from the second he'd walked in the door.

* * *

"You sneaky little..." Lavi muttered as Allen showed him the tape the next day.

Kanda was going to kill him. Lavi wasn't exactly sure if _him_ was Lavi or Allen. No, actually, Kanda was going to kill the both of them. Lavi first – because even Lavi knew this was his fault – and then he'd kill Allen for filming the two of them kissing. _Oh God,_ was really the only thing Lavi could think. He could see it now – the end of his life. He would have kissed Kanda more if he'd known.

Lavi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright Moyashi, what do I have to do to get you to get rid of that," he waved a hand vaguely at the image Timcanpy was projecting.

"I'm not going to get rid of it," Allen said pleasantly.

"Come on Allen, I'm serious. Kanda's going to pissed if he finds out," Lavi said, imagining Kanda's wrath. He imagined lots of blood and Allen's arm being ripped from his body. _Maybe I shouldn't have pushed Allen so far?_ "He's going to kill us both," Lavi tried to reason with the younger man.

"How is he going to know it's me?" Allen smirked. God, he looked just like Cross when he did that.

"I'll tell him!" Lavi shouted.

"I'm not worried. He'll kill you before you get the chance."

Lavi took a deep breath. "What. Do. You. Want?" He asked Allen. Allen told him. _I definitely shouldn't have pushed Allen so far._

He looked at Allen unhappily. "Are you serious?

Allen nodded, still smiling.

"It's such a cliché!" Lavi protested. "Can't you be more inventive?" Maybe he could talk his way out of it.

"I prefer the term, ' _classic_ '."

No. He wasn't going to talk his way out of it.

* * *

Lavi couldn't believe that Allen – sweet looking, polite speaking, little bastard that he was – was making him go through with this; and yet, he was. _I really, really, REALLY, shouldn't have pushed him so far,_ he thought. He promised himself he would never get himself into this sort situation again. He adjusted the offensive piece of clothing with a grumble; why'd it have to be so tight fitting? It felt like he couldn't breath. _How do women wear these things,_ he wondered. This thought was followed by _Allen's a sick little bastard._

That particular thought had been running through Lavi's head frequently for the past four hours.

Allen had dressed Lavi up. The clothing itself wouldn't have been so bad if Lavi was a woman. In fact, if Lavi had been a woman, he would have looked quite pretty. The cheongasm* was an olive green color that would have gone surprisingly well with his hair – had he been a woman. The shoes would have been nice too – had he been a woman. They were flats, since Allen had been kind enough not to force him into heels. Open toed to show off his freshly pained toenails – another curtsy of Allen Walker. All of which, would have been fine, had Lavi been a woman.

Unfortunately, Lavi was not a woman, and thus, did not look very pretty at the moment. Indeed, because he was a man, wearing a woman's dress, he felt very, very foolish. He gnashed his teeth together, reminding himself that he was doing this because (a) he deserved it (b) Kanda would be pissed if that video was seen by anybody (c) he didn't want to embarrass Kanda about their relationship.

He tried to console himself with the knowledge that he only had to do this once. _Kanda had better appreciate this..._ Not that he could. It wasn't like Lavi had told Kanda – Allen might have been a sick bastard, but Lavi didn't want to see the younger man's blood paint mugen's blade. Lavi took a deep breath, before pushing open the doors to the cafeteria.

For a moment, nothing happened – the finder's chatted together, and he could hear Allen rattling off his food Order to Jerry at the other end of the cafeteria. Unfortunately for Lavi, he didn't go unnoticed for long. He stood very still, as the chatter tapered down to nothing, as one by one, the Finders caught sight of Lavi. Soon there was nothing but the sound of Allen's voice – still rattling off his obscenely large dinner order. Not that Jerry was paying much attention; Lavi had gotten his attention as well. The one-eyed Exorcist felt his ears turn the same color as his hair.

All at once the cafeteria erupted in a chaotic din of curious whispers and excited chatter. Lavi caught the words cross-dresser.

The rest of his face reddened in embarrassment as well. Not really knowing what else to do, he put a hand behind his back and laughed nervously. He watched as across the room, Allen turned around to get a look at Lavi. Allen gave a the redhead a small, polite smile, before turning back to happily finish his order.

Lavi made a mental note never to irritate Allen Walker again.

* * *

"Hey, Kanda," Lenalee greeted her longtime friend as she sat down next to him. The young Chinese woman had gotten back from her mission a little less than an hour ago, and she was still wearing her traveling clothes. Kanda grunted his greeting and took another bite of his soba. She eyed Lavi from across the room in his cheongasm. "Do you know why Lavi's dressed like that?" She asked curiously. Though it was amusing, and Lavi was prone to do amusing things every so often, this seemed a little out of character. That and the fact that Lavi looked more than a little embarrassed told Lenalee that something was going on.

Kanda grunted, "Your Moyashi," he said as way of explanation.

"Huh? What did Allen do?" Lenalee asked, glancing back at Lavi, and then at Allen who was ordering food from Jerry. He did look awful happy, even if he was ordering food.

Kanda took another bite of soba. "Took some pictures of the damned rabbit."

Lenalee raised an eyebrow, "I see. Pictures of Lavi and who?"

"Me," Kanda admitted grudgingly. It wasn't like Lenalee didn't know. Lenalee could sniff out a relationship like a dog could sniff out a bone. She had known almost as long there had been a relationship to know about. Kanda didn't mind much anymore – though originally he'd been irate. She kept her mouth shut about it and that was what mattered.

Lenalee laughed. She should have known Allen would figure it out. But she hadn't felt the need to tell him. The same way she supposed, that Kanda hadn't felt the need to tell Lavi that she was dating Allen. "But why is Allen making him dress like that?" She asked, amused. She was sure that Allen would have preferred to humiliate Kanda.

"...He's an idiot," Kanda grunted.

"Ah. Do you want me to talk to Allen?" She asked.

"Tch. Don't bother. It's the damn rabbit's fault anyway." Lenalee didn't miss Kanda glance out of the corner of his eye towards Lavi. Nor did she miss his annoyed scowl as one of the female finders stared a little too hard at Lavi. His fingers drummed the table as he eyed the particular finder, obviously contemplating murder.

 _I always knew he was the jealous type._ She smiled. "I'll talk to him anyway."

"Tch."

* * *

*Cheongasm – a one piece Chinese style dress for woman. Also known as a Mandarin gown.

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